I'd like your help in destroying my HP Pavillion dv6000.
Wednesday September 23, I called HP customer support looking for help with a problem. My HP won't boot up. It tries, the lights come on, it struggles for about 20 seconds...then dies. It tries again, and dies again. Over and over.
Until I pull the plug.
It's sad, really. I loved this computer. Nice big screen for watching movies. Fast enough to run WoW with a kickass fps. Nice machine...probably a little more than I actually need as a freelance copywriter...but I'm okay with that. Thought maybe I needed a new battery.
DELL + BEST BUY INSPIRED ME TO CALL HP!
A few months ago (shortly before the HP crapped out), I bought a Dell Mini 10 netbook. The night before last, it was working fine. Yesterday when I woke, it wouldn't start. HEck, it wouldn't even recognize that the power supply was plugged in. I took it to Best Buy (where I bought it, along with the basic service plan), explained the situation. Dude flipped it upside down, removed the battery, flipped it back over, plugged it in without the battery. It powered up fine. He shut it down, popped the battery back in and rebooted. came back on, no problem. No charge.
Total time spent, including parking and standing in line: 25 minutes.
I get home and try the "remove the battery trick." Alas, that wasn't the problem.
I DID A LITTLE DIGGING
Turns out, this seems to be a common problem among several of the HP Pavillion Notebook series. Apparently, they're serving up shifty motherboards. Lots of complaints about getting the runaround from Support at first. But then I hit upon several people saying they persisted and HP fixed the issue free of charge.And they had their machines back within 5 days!
I was thrilled.
CONVERSATIONS WITH "JASON"
I called ans spoke with "Jason" (I'm sure "Jason" is a very common name in Bangalore, or Sri Lanka or wherever "Jason" supports his customers) who informed me, very politely, that they have an extended service plan in place to cover just this problem. See, it's a known issue. Of course they want to fix it. They love their customers!
There's just one problem. The extended plan covers the laptop for an additional 12 months after the one-year warranty expires. My "known issue" didn't surface until 26 months after I'd purchased it.
So it's considered "normal wear and tear."
*blink.*
*blink*
"Excuse me? How exactly," I asked, "does a known issue with defective hardware sudden'y turn into normal wear and tear? How did they come up with the arbitrary 24-month timeline?"
"Well our engineers calculated that such an issue ought to come up within the first 24 months of use."
"Mine held out for an additional two months. Surely that kind of strength and valor ount for something?"
"I'm sorry sir, I don't understand."
"Nevermind. So, what are these two months going to cost me?"
"Well, normally the service charge is $400. But since yours is a known issue, we will discount it. It will only cost $259.Yu will have your computer back in 4 to 6 weeks."
"But I thought it was normal wear and tear, not a known issue."
"Excuse me?"
"Never mind. So... if this had happened two months ago, it would be fixed for free and I'd have it back in 5 days."
"Yes sir, probably"
"But since it happend two months later, it's going to cost me $259...and take 4 to 6 weeks?"
"Yes sir."
"I suppose I'm lucky your crappy motherboard held in there as long as it did."
"Yes sir."
(at this point I'm beginning to suspect "Jason" might not be 100% certain of everything I'm saying.)
"Well, Jason, Thank you for your time."
"Is there anything else I can help you with today?"
"Um...*else*? You haven't helped me with this!"
"Yes sir. I hope you have a wonderful day."
(By the way, I was giving a play-by-play of this on twitter and facebook, to around 900 people. Incredibly, "Jason" was aware of this. Maybe. I told him...but as you can see, that might not account for much.)
NOW WHAT?
I was floored. And my friends and followers in the cloud were amused on my behalf. I looked at my HP Pavillion, sad that it would never again reboot.
Now what do I do with it?
I could get creative and do some sort of a crafty/artsy project with it. Or...
...or I could get creative and create some sort of carnage and devastation...in protest, of course.
I could Kill My HP.
CROWD SOURCE IT
Even better...WE could Kill My HP!
I need your help. I'm looking for some really great ideas. Something creative...something stunning. I'm looking for a spectacular way for my HP to die.
I've had some suggestions of explosions (and as an old high school friend of mine once said, "you can't go wrong with fire."). I've also had many, many calls to recreate the scene from Office Space. However, while it's a great flick, it seems a little too easy, you know what I mean?
I'm looking for something truly spectacular.
So...whatcha got?
